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Although eloping is defined as ‘running away in secret to get married without the consent of your parents’, nowadays it simply means having a low-key non-traditional wedding. You can always include your parents, your siblings, your best friends or anyone you would prefer to have at your ceremony or it can also be just you and your partner.
Whatever your reasons may be, if you’ve considered eloping, you’ve probably also considered whether it’s the right choice for you. There are many reasons that could make eloping an attractive option – whether budgetary, logistical or simply personal. However, eloping is also a big step to take so weighing the pros and cons might help you to make your decision. Let’s go ahead and have a look at the pros and cons of eloping.
Pros: Benefits of Eloping
Saves Money
Whatever your reasons for eloping, one fact remains salient – you will surely be saving a large amount of money with this move. Even the most expensive elopement is likely to be less expensive than a standard wedding with all the bells and whistles. Rather than buy dinner for hundreds of people, you could spend that saved money on a deposit for a house, an extravagant honeymoon, a new car or whatever you prefer to spend it on.
Reduced Stress
Wedding planning is stressful, even with the very best wedding planner on hand. There are hundreds of little details that need to be thought about months before the big day and getting every detail right is extremely important to ensure that you pull it off exactly the way you want it. All this can be extremely stressful on the couple. Instead of this, you could have a lot more fun focussing on planning the perfect elopement to suit the two of you, minus all the hassle and stress that goes into planning a wedding.
Make Your Rules
With an elopement, all the standard traditions and rules become obsolete and you get to make the rules the way you want. From your dress to your location, you can customize your elopement to suit your fancy. One of the best things about this is that you won’t have to worry about others’ opinions since it’s all up to you. You can plan it any way that you like without anyone telling you what to do and how to do it.
Intimate
If you’re one of those people who hate the idea of having to perform your wedding in front of hundreds of people, then eloping could be an excellent alternative for you. You get to really be together on your wedding day unlike most couples who hardly have enough time let along spend quiet moments together at their wedding. You and your partner get to really focus on each other and on this big step in your lives.
Cons: Reasons Not to Elope
Hurt Feelings
There will always be people who don’t understand why you chose to elope and not have a party that included them. You will most likely have to deal with hurt feelings, especially if you’re part of a big, close family. Your family may feel that you deprived them of the opportunity to celebrate something as special as your wedding. It could even damage your relationship with your family members so you may want to think twice before you decide to elope. You may find that there are some people that you wish you had included to be with you on your special day.
You Won’t Have a Party
One of the benefits of having friends and family around for your wedding is that you get to have fun, play games, dance the night away together and celebrate your union as a couple. With an elopement, you may not feel anything special or memorable and it may just feel like a romantic date for the two of you.
You May Regret It
Down the track, you may regret that you didn’t have the traditional wedding with friends and family sharing in on the occasion. You may find yourself comparing your wedding with others’ weddings and wishing that you had had the same experience as they did. So, before you elope you need to be sure about your decision. After all, this can be a lifetime regret that can’t be undone.
People May Judge You
Some people consider eloping as rude and could be upset because they feel as though you didn’t care enough to tell them about it. If you’re planning to elope, keep in mind that there will always be some people who will judge you for your decision. This won’t matter if you’re someone who doesn’t care about what other people think but if you’re not, then you might want to think about it very carefully before you go through with it.
Will I Regret It?
This is probably the single most asked question when it comes to considering an elopement. The answers vary from one person to another and of course, they are very personal so it can be difficult to say how you may feel about this. We’ve got some statements from people who decided to elope instead of having a regular wedding so let’s have a look at what they have to say about it:
Steph – I started getting really stressed out at the idea of planning a big wedding so I told my fiancé that I wanted to elope. My fiancé said that he knew I would regret not having my family at the wedding, because we’re so close and suggested that we have an intimate wedding with a few close friends and family. That’s what we ended up doing. We only had about 18 guests and that was it. It turned out perfect!
Mellissa: We eloped to save money and I don’t regret it one bit! Down the track we’re planning to have a nice big celebration for our 10 year wedding anniversary when we’ll have more money and time for that sort of thing.
Teresa: I regret eloping because I missed out on all the big moments of a traditional wedding and I’ll never be able to get that back. I also feel like I robbed my family of an experience that we can never have again. If I could do it all again, I’d go for a regular wedding.
If you’re planning to elope because the high cost and stress of planning a wedding is too much for you, take a deep breath and think carefully about whether it’s something that you would actually go through with.
Of course, eloping is a perfectly good option if that’s the case but carefully consider the pros and cons before you make your decision. After all, though it may seem like a good idea at the time, you need to ask yourself whether it is actually for you. On the other hand, if you and your partner are sure about your decision to elope then go right ahead!
